Opinion Editorial

As an author I am passionate about the different outlets of information and ways communicated especially in experiences of domestic abuse. One of my inspirational authors is Shelley Flannery who wrote the article ‘A Narcissistic Abuser Will Never Change’, discusses a Narcissistic person and their signs and traits of abuse.(DomesticShelters.org, https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/identifying-abuse/a-narcissistic-abuser-will-never-change). Flannery discusses very distinctly and eloquently the important red flags of narcissism including interviews with other authors who’ve written about domestic abuse and narcissists. Their information provides awareness to victims to be able to build back a healthier perspective of self and separate from the abuse. This information brings insight into the narcissistic personality- seeing through the illusion they build- which becomes a powerful way a victim can remain mentally and emotionally strong and vigilante in not allowing the abuse by anyone. One of the authors interviewed is Shannon Thomas, author of ‘Healing from Hidden Abuse: A Journey Through the Stages of Recovery from Psychological Abuse'. Thomas explains perfectly about the subject, “You can tell if you’re in a relationship with a narcissist if they never admit fault or take responsibility for anything." (Thomas,2019, para.3) “Narcissistic abusers twist things around through gaslighting, through triangulation, through projection, and it’s always somebody else’s fault,” she says. “A lot of times, the narcissist will get very angry and walk out of counseling sessions. They never want to talk authentically about what is their part in causing conflict in the relationship. They will deflect over and over and over again.” 

The point the authors afford in their research and publishing the information is cognizance to a Narcissistic abusers’ personality traits.Flannery’s article gives heavy insight into the personality of the abuser and awareness to victims in understanding/seeing the red flags to keep themselves away from that personality type instead of engaging with them.This excellent discussion provides the information needed to show the reality of manipulation and abuse and how a narcissistic person has psychotic tendencies which lead to being a person of no empathy, self-absorbed and holding themselves in high regard and everyone else is beneath them - therefore there is no reason for them to change. Then it becomes the victim’s problem and issue where the abuser then tears them down- meanwhile the victim may not realize that abuse IS manipulation both emotionally, mentally and verbally by someone who is being belittling, condescending, gaslighting, shaming/body shaming- breaking you away from your internal identity and support systems. Victims are brainwashed into thinking it is ‘normal’ behavior to be treated that way because it’s what they deserve for not complying with the persons demands, expectations or needs. On a personal note, I have been through verbal/emotional abuse- the more I understood about Narcissism - the more I was/am able to break free from him and the relationship- it is imperative people see, read and hear this information – a lot of people could be saved from being abused. Knowledge is power.



Author: Kira Sanchez | 12/12/2021 

Resource:

Flannery,Shelley (Oct 30,2019)A Narcissistic Abuser Will Never Change, DomesticShelters.org, 

Retrieved:  https://www.domesticshelters.org/articles/identifying-abuse/a-narcissistic-abuser-will-never-change